Relax Bruh

From Day 1 they told us you were very tense. Although in the womb you were lazy AF. What a scam. Anyhow, today we’re taking you to a specialist to see if there’s something we can do to help you that doesn’t involve violating your butt.

On the positive side, you seem to be eating a little better and more. I just wish we didn’t have to take a break to change your diaper and wake you up to finish the feeding session, but at least I don’t think you’ve spit up today 🙏 and so far it’s eat anything we feed you. Hope that foreshadows your future dietary preference (being a lack of one)…